If you have ever tried to comfort someone in emotional distress and left the conversation feeling like you made things worse, you are not alone, and you are almost certainly not a bad friend, parent, or colleague. You simply reached for one of the six responses nearly everyone reaches for, because nobody ever taught us a better option. Psychological First Aid exists precisely to replace these instincts with something that actually helps.
1. “Just Be Strong”
Telling someone to be strong, or “wacha kulia,” teaches them to swallow the feeling rather than process it. It also quietly implies that showing emotion is weakness, which makes people less likely to open up next time.
2. “Others Have It Worse”
Comparing someone’s pain to a harder situation elsewhere does not lessen what they feel. It only teaches them that their pain is not valid enough to mention, so they stop mentioning it.
3. Giving Advice Too Quickly
Jumping straight to solutions can feel like you are trying to end the conversation rather than sit inside it. Most people, in the first moment of distress, need to be heard before they need to be helped.
4. Interrupting With Your Own Story
“That happened to me too” can come from a good place, empathy, connection, but it often shifts focus away from the person in front of you and onto yourself, right when they needed the floor.
5. Judging the Emotion
“Why are you overreacting?” or “It’s not that serious” tells someone their emotional response is wrong, even when it is a completely normal reaction to what they are going through.
6. Trying to Fix Everything Immediately
Not every problem has an immediate fix, and rushing to resolve it can rob someone of the chance to simply feel supported. Some situations need presence long before they need a solution.
Why This Matters More Than It Seems
Each of these six habits is common, ordinary, and almost always well-intentioned. That is exactly the point. Good people, in homes, workplaces, churches, and friend groups, cause real harm every day without meaning to, simply because nobody ever showed them a better script. Psychological First Aid is not about becoming a different person. It is about swapping six automatic habits for six trained ones, which is a far smaller ask than it sounds.
Learn the Habits That Actually Help
The Psychological First Aid course walks you through exactly what to say and do, replacing these six instincts step by step.
Explore the Course
