Society has long defined manhood by three pillars: provide, protect, and endure. From an early age, boys are taught that their worth is tied to how well they can fulfill these roles. A man is expected to stand firm in crisis, to be the pillar his family leans on, to suppress his emotions, and to keep going, no matter how heavy the burden gets. But in a world that demands so much from him, when does he get to rest? When does he get to be on the receiving end of care, love, and protection? A man’s ability to provide is often seen as his ultimate measure of success. He must ensure that his family is well-fed, his children are educated, and his household is secure. But what happens when he struggles financially? When he feels like he’s falling short? Society rarely allows him the space to admit weakness.
They tell him, “Take it like a man.” But what does that really mean?
“The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.” — Thomas Paine
Men are told that their struggles should make them stronger, that they should simply figure it out without breaking down. But does enduring suffering in silence truly make a man, or does it break him from the inside out?
A man must protect. He stands between his loved ones and danger, ensuring their safety at all costs. But while he is expected to fight battles for others, who fights for him? When he is emotionally wounded, when life takes a toll on his spirit, where does he go?
Men are conditioned to be strong even when they feel weak. They suppress their fears, their pain, their exhaustion. But the truth is, even protectors need protection. They, too, need a safe space to fall apart and be held together.
Mental health struggles among men are often overlooked. Depression, anxiety, and emotional fatigue are real, yet many men suffer in silence. Seeking help is still stigmatized, seen as a sign of weakness rather than strength. A man is expected to hold his family together, keep his career on track, and push through hardship—yet he is rarely asked, “How are you really doing?”
When does he get to vent? When does he get to rest? Who listens when his spirit is weary?
It is time for society to recognize that men are more than just providers, protectors, and pillars of endurance. They are human. They deserve the same care, love, and understanding they so freely give. We must create spaces where men feel safe to express themselves without judgment, where they are encouraged to seek emotional support without fear of being seen as weak.
Workplaces, families, and institutions should actively support men’s mental health by normalizing therapy, open conversations, and emotional vulnerability. Schools should teach boys that strength is not about silence but about the courage to speak up.
The outdated belief that a man must always be strong, financially successful, and emotionally unshakeable must be dismantled. True masculinity is not defined by suffering in silence but by self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and the ability to seek and accept help.
Strength should not be measured by endurance alone, but by the ability to know when to rest, when to ask for help, and when to prioritize one’s well-being.
Despite the societal pressure placed upon them, men also play a role in reinforcing these expectations. Many choose silence over seeking support. Many mock vulnerabilities in others, perpetuating the very stigma they suffer under.
Yes, the oppression is real, and yes, much of it is imposed by society—but the greatest prison is the one built by the mind. Men must acknowledge their role in setting the pace for how they are treated. If they continue to suffer in silence, the world will assume they are fine. If they never demand better, society will never offer better.
A man who refuses to unshackle himself cannot blame the chains for his suffering.
Manhood should not be a lonely journey of carrying burdens in silence. Because even the strongest men need someone to hold them up when they fall
