Society, however, has placed a wrong mindset upon men, considering surrendering as not an option even in times of adversity and pain, despite it being considered strength and not making men weaklings. This, I support, but the intentionality of it is what I do not agree with. Let men surrender, let them take breaks, let them open up, and get things off their chest. If we view opening up or grieving as a form of surrender, then let’s accept it! This primitive toxic mindset unfortunately has led most men into the pit of despair, they surrender to the wrong things; things like addiction and other unyielding desires.
The basis of surrendering
Most men avoid yielding to the idea of surrendering. To them, it’s equated to another form of being a weakling. Most men firmly believe that surrendering is equivalent to being weak, so they choose to suppress their vulnerability. Even more disheartening is the society. The same society that mourns suicide is the same society that doesn’t give much space to healing, and how does one heal? Isn’t it by opening up and daring to be vulnerable? Isn’t it by taking breaks or, better yet, embracing fears and flaws?
data shows that for those seeking help for their mental health, only 30% were men compared to women who were at 68%.
September is a suicide prevention month and over the years, we’ve seen an alarming spike in the number of suicide cases, with the highest percentage of the cases being men. According to an article cited by Champion Health, women are most likely to experience suicidal thoughts but men are three times more likely to take their own life, the same data shows that for those seeking help for their mental health, only 30% were men compared to women who were at 68%. It’s evident that by applying it to this context, women are at ease with the subject of surrendering.
We must shift the perspective around masculinity. One should not define strength solely by how much they endure in silence. Instead, individuals should view strength by how comfortable they get opening up and embracing their flaws without displaying a facade. Honesty finds actual strength, by being honest with oneself and others concerning emotional needs and inner struggles.
the Bible also Jesus teaches us to surrender when He speaks about casting our burdens to him
Surrendering to the perfect example
Just the perfect example is Jesus. He knew right from the beginning that his mission required physical, psychological, and spiritual pain, but even so, Jesus knew the virtue of surrendering. Even when the pain became too unbearable for him, Jesus demonstrated his virtue of surrender by giving his soul to the Father on the cross. In the Bible also Jesus teaches us to surrender when He speaks about casting our burdens to him according to Psalms 55:22.
Surrendering to Christ means letting our guard down, and our pride and allowing ourselves to become vulnerable, and this comes from understanding that God knows every one of our struggles and flaws and He still loves us, anyway. When men are not permitted to surrender healthily, they ultimately surrender to the wrong forces. Instead, elements like addiction, violence, and other harmful coping mechanisms like suicide become a way of dealing with bottled-up emotions.
The fallacy of happiness in relation to suicide
It’s not those men aren’t strong. The issue is they lack an outlet of expression, a beam of hope that someone will listen to them without bearing any judgmental feelings. Extra advice goes to women in relationships. If your man looks all happy and his life seems perfect, add question marks to that. This is what we call, in simple terms, the fallacy of happiness.
those who we would least expect to experience suicidal feelings might be twice the victims of suicide but silence is the only weapon they choose.
A study entailed in a book called Suicide by Robert W. Motta, shows the paradox of happiness. In this book, Robert concludes a world of happiness report openly showing countries termed as most happy experiencing twice the rates of suicide as compared to other countries, which is quite alarming! Finland the happiest had a percentage of 15.9 while Syria, which is the least lucky country, had a rate of 4.9.
Silence is the only weapon they choose, as this fallacy of happiness in simple terms shows, indicating that those who we would least expect to experience suicidal feelings might be twice the victims of suicide. This all stems from the need to maintain a perfect image and the need to look strong. This could be the most successful of people, the happiest, or even the strongest.
In Conclusion
Anyone is prone to suicide. But again, my stand remains: suicide is never an option, surrendering is. Surrendering your problems and letting out those hefty emotions. If the burden is too heavy to bear, remember to count on God. He loves you regardless of your struggles and flaws.
