What is so special about having a beard, if I don’t grow one, how does that make me any less of a man than I am? I believe it’s high time we started challenging toxic masculinity and unhealthy notions that the society tends to overlook, labelling it as normal. Shaming a man based on their inability to grow a beard isn’t normal. But who exactly do we tell this if not men? Unfortunately, the enemy of a man is a fellow man, it’s most unlikely seeing a lady teasing a man for something as petty. This is usually a boy’s thing, but what can I say, boys will always remain boys. But we all know what distinguishes boys from men and that is experience, maturity and way of reasoning.
Personal Encounter
I was at the age of ten when I had my first encounter with a moustache, this I couldn’t comprehend as no one had got anywhere closer to that. It aroused some excitement among my peers, who believed I ultimately had unlocked some level of achievement. Others envied this, wishing it was them who grew the beard instead. If you ask me, it felt so odd, it was the unnecessary attention I was getting from both genders.
Harshly the one in a beard openly said to the other ‘Before unishow kitu kwanza mea ndevu‘
Fast-paced in late primary, puberty hit and luckily this time I wasn’t the only one experiencing it. At this time getting a beard was almost a basic need, it became the joy and pride of almost every boy in class. Boys were sprouting beards if this is a term, I could openly use but unfortunately not everyone served a similar narrative. Sadly, those not lucky to grow a beard received an indirect suppressive treatment from those with beards. I remember vividly a statement brought up when two guys in class were in a heated debate; gradually the climax of the debate turned into an argument, harshly the one in a beard openly said to the other ‘Before unishow kitu kwanza mea ndevu‘ to imply first grow a beard before saying a word to me.
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In High school the experience wasn’t far from similar, only that it wasn’t given much importance, but even so some still had their fair share of what it means to experience shame. Growing beards in high school was equated to being attractive, and for some lame reason we all perceived it as a bonus towards winning ladies over. This same reason prompted boys at that time to grow beards to a point of looking all shaggy, not knowing it takes more than just simple beards to win a quality lady.
The society now
The society today draws a similar narrative that beards equate to attraction, here’s a text drawn from a message a lady posted on her socials after a beard disaster happened on her soon-to-be husband.
'I’ve been with my fiancé (m24) for almost two years now. When I met him, he had facial hair and was immediately attracted to him. If I was to rate him, it’s probably be a 9/10. Last week he messed up shaving. This was the first time I’d ever seen him without facial hair. It was awful. This beautiful man turned into someone else- and not in a good way. I didn’t really react because I do love him, but attraction is important and the physical attraction I have for him is much lower. So now I just have to hope he never shaved again. Ugh!!'
Quite unfortunate is that most men still face rejection from ladies due to something as insignificant as not having a beard. But again, how do we challenge the narrative and get past this fallacy that has crowded the description of what an ideal attraction is.
The historical establishment of beard obsession
The beard narrative began in ancient times, bearing a different meaning in each civilization. For example, in Ancient Egypt pharaohs wore artificial beards to signify divine power; while the Romans and Greeks associated beards with wisdom and knowledge however in other regions like Russia, during the reign of Peter the Great, growing beards was considered a taboo and one would be heavily taxed if caught.
The problem arises when man equates his facial hair to the worth, he has. Ultimately, he loses his sense of self.
Embracing personal choice
Today the collective mindset around having beards is still embedded and unfortunately wrecking great havoc in the minds of our men. More than ever, men are challenged to maintain and own that bearded look, even if it means chasing after those expensive creams that boost beard growth. Others have gone to the extremes of undergoing a geometric beard transformation. Personally, I don’t think there’s anything nothing wrong with that, however the problem arises when man equates his facial hair to the worth, he has. Ultimately, he loses his sense of self.
While some men prefer beards others don’t, some men prefer that clean shave while others want it bushy. Others struggle with skin irritation and itching, while for others beards grow effortlessly. In Asian countries, maintaining a clean bearded look is viewed as a sign of neatness and professionalism. This shows that having beards isn’t everything. Once men become comfortable owning any look, they feel confident in, they stop becoming a slave to the society.
Conclusion
In conclusion, having beards or not, life has to move. There’s more to life than just facial hair, and if someone lowers his or her respect for you based on some mere facial hair, they’re definitely not worth your time. By discouraging this toxic norm, we can build a more inclusive society where men are free to express their masculinity in whichever shape and size.
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A job well done ✅ I have experience beard shaming since I didn’t have beards as a Teen. At the time I had started to know myself so I didn’t let it define me. I remember being dismissed to a kid because I didn’t have facial hair. Good job KJ 🔥