Rebalancing the Scales: Understanding the Overlooked Challenges of the Boy Child

In Kenya, there are growing feelings that, after many years of focusing on girls, the boys have been forgotten and left behind. That has been evidenced by widespread alcoholism and increased school dropouts, leading to a re-think on whether the advancement by girls was at the expense of boys. Although we appreciate, the efforts made at the girl-child empowerment after years of gender imbalance and inequity, in the past decades, there has been much discussion of the boy-child, many people even alleging that he has been neglected.

The National Gender and Equality Commission conducted a Report of emerging perception on the exclusion of the boy child in the gender equality agenda and brought into light some fascinating findings. The perceptions and public debate in Kenya suggest that the boy child is left behind in the gender equality agenda.

The Intervention is needed

The general perception is that the boy child faces challenges that tend to hinder his enjoyment of opportunities for progress, especially in education. The truth is, if there are no interventions, the boy child will lag behind and become unable to fulfil his obligations as he grows up, especially in education. I sought to seek answers on what is hindering the wellbeing of a boy child and what we can do to avert it from Mr. Francis Muchiri, who is a principal of Ahadi Presbyterian School in Kenya. Working with over 850 pupils, he becomes an authority to speak on matters touching boys and girls.

Today, the boy child is likely to drop out of school or choose not to continue with school, which leads him to substance use due to lack of mentorship and role models who can guide them in life. Many a time the phrase, “he’s a man, he can take care of himself” is used to denote the boy need to be independent. This is so especially when thing go wrong on the side of the boy child.

Reports of boys engaging in substance abuse, joining terror groups, involvement in sexual behaviours that leads to impregnation of girls among other vices are reported. More than not, parents wonder how their innocent boys came to engage in such dangerous behaviours, but what do we expect of them if all we do is concentrate on the girl and forget the boys.

We should empower the boy child to strengthen the future fathers. It is sad that the boy child has to choose his own future and chart his course without much guidance.

Mr. Francis reiterates that both genders are equally important for the success of the society, country, and world at large. Boys need counselling and guidance through their passage to manhood, just like girls. Conversations of how we can support the boy child should start at the family level. If we allow the boy-child to continue struggling with poverty, unemployment, and dependency, it will expose our families and the nation to suffer economically and lose the contribution of a major part of the society. It is therefore significant for all of us to join hands and support future wives and husbands. We should empower the boy child to strengthen the future fathers. It is sad that the boy child has to choose his own future and chart his course without much guidance.

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A Boy Needs a Man in his Life

On the issue of the need for a man in a boy’s life, Mr. Francis told me that boys need role models and mentors to guide them in life. Parents and family provide the best environment for children to grow. In a family where the father is often absent from home or is alcoholic, boys lack role models and parental guidance, and this affects their development and even behaviour.

Who dropped the ball? “The society,” Mr. Francis tells me. “Girls do not want to get married. Boys do not want to marry. Reinventing how we raise our boys and girls is important. Emerging issues calls for new strategies to cope with challenges. The social failure need to be fixed progressively, the new curriculum, CBC has allowed parental involvement in the children’s learning and key areas of study like ethics included in the new curriculum”, he explains. “Father figures are vital in the boy’s growth and development. They require role models. Children are 70% visual and 30% audio. Our behaviour around them is essential, and we need to be role models. The father has to be deliberate, present and walk with the boy child. Fathers need to be intentional and be willing to engage the young men and expose them to their areas of interest. We should not just show up when our children are grown and are successful”, Mr. Francis tell me.

They require role models. Children are 70% visual and 30% audio. Our behaviour around them is essential, and we need to be role models.

— Francis

A society wellbeing is dependent on all of its members functioning properly. If any group of the society is malfunctioning, the result will be that the development of the society will be impaired. This is as a result of large number of dependents, low skill development and little business initiatives. There will be increase in failed marriages, dysfunctional families will be on the rise as well and high incidences of gender based violence will be witnessed. So, programs and interventions that seek to empower the women and girls must engage men and boys as well.