Marriage Reimagined: Gen Z’s Contemporary Outlook

Who tinkered the love bells?

It has been approximately one and a half hours, and I am still sipping on my cup of coffee at this coffee café I have recently discovered and been so in love with of late. To be honest, it’s just not the serene ambience of this café that draws me to it, but some very good-looking son of pharaoh behind the counter who prepares an array of coffee drinks so effortlessly.

You might probably be picturing me lost in a daze, thirsting over the Barista and his perfect expertise in coffee making, but my lovely reader, I would advise you not to judge me so quickly.

The actual reason why I have been sipping on my cup of coffee for over an hour is because I have been so engrossed in a group of about four Gen Z’s discussing marriage; who are camped a table before me. How I ceased minding my business and hopped onto theirs remains a mystery, but at this point I don’t mind spending another hour here and ordering a second cup of coffee.

They talk about their ideal marriage. They go ahead to talk about some celebrities whose lives they would like to emulate. One of them quips. “Nowadays hadi hizo ndoa hazi last” in slang Swahili, meaning nowadays marriages don’t last. The once vibrant conversation spirals down really fast to something quite emotional.

The contemporary world is largely individualistic

I fear that the current generation’s perception of marriage is quite defiled. We are speaking of a generation that majority has first-hand witnessed their parent’s marriages shaking and failing right before their very innocent eyes. This is a generation that has had to live with the reality of having divorced parents. Sadly enough, this is a generation that has been raised in a society that embraces being single other than stigmatizing its victims.

Imagine crossing paths with someone you have not known all your life, settling down with them, deciding to commit to them

Marriage by itself is insanely sacred. Other than it being an institution ordained by God himself, it entails becoming one with a total stranger. Imagine crossing paths with someone you have not known all your life, settling down with them, deciding to commit to them and being submissive, accepting their flaws; and shortcomings and apart from that making vows on holy grounds that until death do you part, you forever will be by their sides. Is it not just scary by this mere thought?

The rate of new couples eloping has been descending. There have been lesser and lesser marriage invites being handed out among the young generation. The fact that nowadays, if a marriage is hitting the airwaves, it is often the case of separation, makes this situation more alarming. By this, it becomes difficult for one to believe that any marriage can last, since the picture painted in their heads is that of how plastic marriage has grown. As a result, there is a general lack of gusto around this very important rite of passage, marriage.

Love is too expensive nowadays

The first-hand receivers of the suppressed trauma that’s inflicted by parents constantly fighting, are the children. The fact that growth is inevitable, they grow together with the trauma, borrowing from past occurrences, fear and uncertainty thus leading to avoidance of any attachment that leads to marriage whatsoever, resulting in most to casual dating and no attachments.

The young girls view marriage as a potential trap that hinders them from unleashing the career women in them, calling the two groups to work on a singular goal.

As things continue growing more expensive, everyone tends to concentrate more on themselves. The struggle for recognition has seen it to young men viewing marriage as a huge burden that is not worth looking at due to the sacrifice it demands. The young girls view marriage as a potential trap that hinders them from unleashing the career women in them, calling the two groups to work on a singular goal, drifting further and further apart from each other.

Marriages are built around commitment and submission that needs fusion of two individuals. The evident drift in current marriages does not seem motivating enough to create a fusion. This is joint misery at its finest hour, maybe in future, we will be lonely together.